Well, folks: I am with child.

But of course, I prefer to say, We’re pregnant or We’re having a baby, because, you know, it’s 2018, and in order to evenly disperse the expectation and workload of parenthood typically dumped upon women, we’ve gotta start with the language we’re using.

And we’ve also gotta stop having women-only baby showers. Why would moms receive all the diapers and baby clothes? It’s your baby too, bruh.

Anyway.

I haven’t posted in a while, and admittedly, did not send out a monthly newsletter last month. This is partly because pregnancy sometimes only leaves me with enough energy to focus on work, and partly because I wanted to wait until we announced the news to write another blog post. Additionally, we bought a house, and the whole process is a bit time-consuming and stressful. And also, life has just been busy, you feel me?

Pregnancy Reviewed

I’d like to tell you about how pregnancy has been going thus far — how I feel, what I like, what I hate, what I’ve realized, et cetera, et cetera. So, here we go.

Do I like being pregnant?

Yeah, kind of. You get some welcome attention and some unwelcome attention. Sometimes, it makes me feel like a magical feminine being and sometimes it makes me feel like a monkey. I find the biology extremely interesting. I find all the correlative studies and soft science extremely frustrating. Like the study that claims that women who exercise during pregnancy give birth to children who have higher standardized test scores. Well, clearly affluent women are able to exercise more during pregnancy, and affluence certainly contributes to the ability to perform well in school for a number of reasons, so. . . .

Anyway, pregnancy is cool and all, but to me, the point is that we’re going to have a child and be parents forever. I kind of equate it with being a bride versus getting married. I think my generation focuses super heavily on planning weddings and being a bride and the whole buildup and aesthetic of a wedding day. And yet, the point is that you’re marrying someone and will be partners for life. I’m not throwing shade on those who relish in being engaged or pregnant — it’s just that for me, I’m focused more on why we actually chose to do these things.

What symptoms have I had?

During the first trimester, I had some morning sickness and empty-stomach nausea, in general. However, I never puked. My body does this weird thing where I’ll often sneeze when I get nauseous. It doesn’t really make sense, but I’ve found solidarity on the internet. I was also suuuuuuper sleepy during the first trimester while the placenta was under construction. It takes a lot of energy to build a whole new organ! My energy level during the first trimester felt kind of like how you feel after eating Thanksgiving dinner. Nap time all the time!

I’ve also had some all-around bodily discomfort. My spine is expanding, my stomach is growing and stretching rapidly, and sometimes I feel like my body doesn’t fit inside my body, you know? But honestly, nothing has been too bad, especially compared to what I’ve read and heard that others have experienced. I’ve had way more energy during the second trimester, but I can’t do as many workout moves now that my belly is bigger. Also, now I have to sit at my desk while I work instead of lying flat-back on my bed like a troll. Oh, and my gums bleed every time I brush my teeth. Fun.

What have I been eating?

I haven’t had any weird cravings, really, but I do eat a bit differently now that I’m pregnant. During the first trimester, I had a couple aversions to things like meat and certain vegetables. Overall, I’ve craved fruit much more than veggies (probably because I need more fluids) so I’ve been rolling with that. The pregnancy diet is sort of just back to basics, like kid food. It’s a lot of apples with peanut butter, grilled cheese, sliced vegetables, cheese and crackers, PB&J sammies, yogurt, fruit — simple stuff like that. Yes, I’m eating dairy during my pregnancy. I’m eating everything.

What are we having?

A boy! We are having a white male and plan to raise him as woke as possible. We found out the sex the day before the Brett Kavanaugh hearing which made me go, “Well, great. A middle-class white boy with notable privilege.” But we love him so much and will bring him up in a feminist AF household where we talk about consent all the time.

When are we due?

Our due date is February 13th. We found out we were pregnant super early — like the earliest you can find out per the side of the pregnancy test box. So, we knew at like three and a half weeks, but didn’t tell anyone (even family) until about 11 weeks, after we went to our first prenatal appointment and got the heartbeat. I used to get really nervous before each doctor appointment until we heard the heart beating, but now that the baby kicks throughout the day, I feel less nervous ‘cause I know he’s alive in there.

Have we chosen a name?

Nope, not yet! But Joe and I are pretty agreeable about the types of names we like and have a running list we’ve been discussing. We got the Babyname app, which is like Tinder for baby names. You sync up with your partner, swipe yes or no on names, and then the app creates a list of all the names you agree on (AKA your “matches”). I’d like something that’s not too common, but not too weird, not too millennial, and not too celebrity. We’ll figure it out.

What am I doing before becoming a mother?

During these last few months before motherhood, I’m rereading all the Harry Potter books, bonding with my husband, building my freelance writing business, binging on TV shows without guilt, and enjoying my general freedom to shower, run errands, put on a full face of makeup, and sleep when I so choose.

Pregnancy Product Recommendations

I personally really resent having to spend money on maternity clothing and other products. It’s expensive and feels a little unfair. However, you gotta do what you gotta do. So, I got some essentials and also borrowed quite a bit of maternity wear from friends, which I am immensely grateful for.

Here’s what I did buy:

Larger Bras

My boobs got really big, really fast. Larger bras were the first thing I needed about a month or two into my pregnancy. A got a couple soft wireless bras in a size large and have pretty much just been rotating between those whenever I go out into the wild. I got some bigger undies too.

Workout Pants

I’ve been continuing to go to barre classes throughout my pregnancy and as of about two months ago, my regular workout pants became too tight. I got a couple pairs of over-the-bump maternity workout pants from Pink Blush Maternity which are reasonably priced and pretty good quality. For a while, I was wearing the Align Pants from Lululemon because they’re soft and stretchy enough to fit over a growing belly. . . .to a certain point. NY Mag says they’re the best maternity pants and that some women can wear them almost through the third trimester, but to each her own!

Shoes

Buying new shoes because of swollen pregnancy feet may be the most frustrating thing. I mean, who can afford that? I really resisted getting maternity kicks, but my feet have been swelling over the past month or so, and my shoes are uncomfortably tight. Sandals have been fine, but it’s almost November. Last week, I reluctantly ordered a pair of black Birkenstock clogs as well as a pair of Chelsea rain boots that I’ll be able to wear comfortably with thick socks this winter.

Pants & Shorts

I got a couple pairs of maternity shorts from ASOS to get me through the summer and a pair of black maternity jeans. But like I said, I was lucky enough to borrow most of this type of stuff from friends.

Tummy Cream

I’ve been using Booda Butter on my tummy almost every day. I didn’t actually buy it though; a sweet friend gifted it to me. It can be used for stretch marks —which I haven’t really had a problem with, and apparently, are just hereditary anyway — but I just like how it feels on my skin. I also use it on my lips every night.

Pillows & Cushions

Pregnancy can make sleeping, sitting, and laying down pretty uncomfortable. It totally sucks! To get by, I purchased an orthopedic hip pillow and an ergonomic seat cushion for my desk chair because my tailbone begins to hurt after sitting for an hour or two. Joe also got me a pregnancy pillow, which I like to read and take naps in. I also use the Zyllion deep-tissue massage pillow on my lower back sometimes. We’ve had it for a couple years, and it’s really effing amazing. Like, you should seriously get one, pregnant or not.

Supplements

I’ve been taking Ritual vitamins for close to two years now. They were invented by a gal during her pregnancy and are great as a daily women’s vitamin as well as a prenatal. So yeah, the cool-girl vitamins are also cool-mom vitamins! I also take fish oil pills and an iron supplement every other day because the doctor told me I was slightly anemic, which is apparently common for pregnancy.

That’s all I have to say about pregnancy at the moment, except that I want to pull my baby out of my vagina when I give birth, like Kourtney Kardashian. As usual, I’ve been watching hella Teen Mom. Bristol Palin is on the newest season, and I’m here for it.

Got any pregnancy product recs? Say whaddup below.